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This Country S02E02 — Threatening Letters

Every line from “Threatening Letters” (573 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

• 00:02This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
• 00:12There you go.
• 00:14That's a steal, that - 50 quid.
• 00:16Yeah, I just...
• 00:18Have you got the computer bit, as well?
• 00:22What do you mean? It's all in here.
• 00:24This is the monitor, so...
• 00:26..that's literally just the screen, and nothing else.
• 00:29Cos, normally, this thing comes with both of these, it's a computer -
• 00:34and that's the expensive bit, really, that's the main thing.
• 00:37Yeah. That's that.
• 00:39That's what that is.
• 00:41I just... I...
• 00:43Yeah... OK.
• 00:50Kurtan is not a natural negotiator,
• 00:52because he can't give a straight answer.
• 00:54That's why I go with him,
• 00:56because I'm not afraid to grab the bull by the horns
• 00:58and put the turkey on the table.
• 01:00What are you looking at? Oh, nothing.
• 01:02Are you looking at my collection of Compare The Meerkats.com?
• 01:05Yeah.
• 01:06Yeah, cos you've seen the adverts, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah?
• 01:09Cos he's the main one, and he's a laugh.
• 01:12Right? But he's not the main one, but he's a laugh, in his own way.
• 01:15Yeah. And I think that's why they get on so well,
• 01:18cos they're both such a laugh -
• 01:19but I just need the baby Oleg, now, and then the set's complete.
• 01:22Yeah, yeah. You don't know anyone selling a baby Oleg, do you?
• 01:26I don't... Don't, sorry. ..know of anyone.
• 01:29Can you keep your ear to the ground, please? Yeah, yeah, yeah, def...
• 01:31Absolutely. Definitely, definitely.
• 01:35Well?
• 01:37Yeah, I just...
• 01:39It's...
• 01:41The thing is, it's just not really what I'm looking for at the moment.
• 01:45I... I'd still take it off your ha-hands...
• 01:50..for a small fee - sort of, fiver or something.
• 01:54Higher than that, maybe, a little bit. Er...
• 01:59I mean, what do you...? What's fair?
• 02:0250 would be...better. Yeah.
• 02:05Yeah.
• 02:0750 quid! I know.
• 02:09It ain't worth 50p.
• 02:10You didn't help, either. Could have said something.
• 02:13I did! Well, you know it's not... Did I not?
• 02:15Yeah... I was about to. It's obvious there's no computer bit with this.
• 02:1750 quid! You know it's not worth... Da! Da, Da!
• 02:23All right, Da? All right, Da? All right.
• 02:25Kurtan. Yeah? Got any work on? Er...no. Why?
• 02:28I've got a job, if you fancy it. Er...
• 02:30Well, I haven't got any work on. What sort of job?
• 02:32Bit of labouring, heavy lifting and that. Yeah? Er...
• 02:35I ain't got any work on. I dunno.
• 02:37Cash in hand.
• 02:39Yeah, all right, then. Yeah, go on. Yeah.
• 02:41I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven. Yeah, nice one. Yeah, I...
• 02:44I haven't got any work on. Good, then. Yeah.
• 02:46All right, see you, Da. Cheers, Mart. See you. All right.
• 02:53It would've been nice to work with my dad and the lads,
• 02:56but, if I'm honest,
• 02:57it's probably best I keep my head down at the moment, anyway.
• 03:00Basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters,
• 03:03and I don't know who's doing it -
• 03:05and I am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor,
• 03:09so, if somebody attacks me from the sides
• 03:11or snipes at me from an upstairs window, I am fucked -
• 03:14but my hearing is excellent, see?
• 03:16So, I just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar,
• 03:20and I'll be fine, then.
• 03:21KNOCK AT DOOR
• 03:21Mum, can I come in?
• 03:26Well, do you think you can go to the shop?
• 03:28Cos we're out of loo roll.
• 03:31I can't. What if I get attacked or something?
• 03:41SHE COUGHS
• 03:48I ain't worried about the physical nature of the job.
• 03:51I've done my fair share of physical stuff.
• 03:53The only thing I'm worried about
• 03:55is fucking spending the whole day with fucking Martin.
• 03:57A few rules.
• 03:59No moaning, no complaining, no negative Nancies. OK.
• 04:02If you don't like the work, the circus is in town
• 04:04and they're always looking for clowns. Right.
• 04:0730 minutes for lunch. Right.
• 04:09Any longer than that gets taken out of your wage packet... OK.
• 04:12..and every Tuesday's cake Tuesday,
• 04:15where you bring in a cake that you've baked
• 04:17for us all to share. OK.
• 04:18Whoever has the least delicious cake
• 04:20has to buy the rounds in at the Keeper's.
• 04:22Right, OK. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine.
• 04:25Sorry, Martin, just one more thing, mate.
• 04:26Er... Your mug is your own responsibility... Right.
• 04:30..and if I find your dirty mug sitting in the van,
• 04:33I'll have absolutely no hesitation in smashing it in the road. Capeesh?
• 04:36Yeah. Understood.
• 04:38There you go.
• 04:39Just pop those next to the cement mixer.
• 04:41Jesus Christ.
• 04:43Kurtan's just going to drown like a pig in the sea.
• 04:45You know, it's all well and good him doing this job,
• 04:48but if they start taking the piss out of his nan or his birthmark,
• 04:51his soul is just going to crumble to dust.
• 04:53Christ, you watch the Swindon game last night?
• 04:55Course I did.
• 04:56What a joke.
• 04:58Some of them are not fit to wear the shirt, I say.
• 05:02Ker said to me, she goes, "You know that Luke Norris?"
• 05:05She goes, "He gets paid two grand to play football."
• 05:07I said to her, "He doesn't get paid two grand to play football,
• 05:10"He gets paid two grand to fall on his arse the whole game."
• 05:16Sorry, Kursty, can I just have a word, mate? Yeah.
• 05:19Martin don't like it when other people make jokes on the site.
• 05:22He's the only one who is allowed to make the jokes on-site. Right. OK.
• 05:26So, that's that... and, on top of the joke,
• 05:29never, ever joke about Swindon Football Club, ever.
• 05:33Especially Luke Norris. Right.
• 05:35Cos Martin used to play darts with his dad,
• 05:37and he basically sees Luke like a son. OK.
• 05:40So, if you ever think of any other jokes, come to me, tell me,
• 05:43and I'll pass them on to Martin,
• 05:44and let you know if you find some funny or not, all right?
• 05:47Yeah. That's fine.
• 05:48Cheers, Dan.
• 05:52A hard hat may protect you from a falling brick,
• 05:54but it will not protect you from banter.
• 05:56You don't need a hard hat, you need a hard heart.
• 05:59Do you want a cup of tea, Kurst?
• 06:01Oh, I'd bloody love one. Cheers, Dan, mate.
• 06:04Where's your mug, then?
• 06:06Oh, shit.
• 06:08I left it in the van.
• 06:09Oh...
• 06:15Sweep that up, Kurst.
• 06:17Yep.
• 06:21Sort it out, Kursty.
• 06:31Got another letter today,
• 06:33and I think it's the worst of the lot.
• 06:36I'm no closer to finding out who it is, either.
• 06:39It's pretty scary, cos they're coming through my door,
• 06:42which means they probably know where I live.
• 06:46KNOCK AT DOOR
• 06:47Oh, all right, Mand?
• 06:49All right, Ker?
• 06:50Yeah, just thought I'd let you know, I've got the baby Oleg, now,
• 06:53from a smoke-free home and a pet-free home,
• 06:54so, the set's complete,
• 06:56if you want to come round and have a look at 'em,
• 06:58cos I remember you saying how much you like the set, didn't you?
• 07:01Oh, yeah, cheers, Mand.
• 07:04You all right? Yeah.
• 07:05What's the matter with your face?
• 07:06Have you gone off Compare The Meerkats.com, or what?
• 07:09No, I ain't gone off Compare The Meerkats.com, I just...
• 07:11I should hope not - I've come all the way over here,
• 07:13cos you said about the baby Oleg, and I thought you was interested.
• 07:16Yeah, no, I am - I am really interested in Oleg. Right.
• 07:19What's the matter, then?
• 07:25"Dear Kerry, I cannot stop fantasising about you.
• 07:29"My latest was the best.
• 07:31"I'm cleaning out my shed when you come in and tell me
• 07:35"you want to sand down a chair leg,
• 07:38"so you use my mouth as a vice and tell me I cannot breathe.
• 07:44"I breathe involuntarily to stay alive,
• 07:47"and you punch me in the lungs and tell me how pathetic I am."
• 07:52The sick, sick bastard.
• 07:54It's just... I don't know what to do, Mand.
• 07:56It's all right, I'll help you.
• 07:58We'll find him, yeah? And we're going to fuck him up.
• 08:01You'll be safe with me, Ker.
• 08:02Oh, cheers, Mand.
• 08:03That's all right, that's what I do.
• 08:15HE STRAINS
• 08:19Oh, dear! Oh, God...
• 08:21Oh, no...
• 08:23OK...
• 08:29Oh, dear.
• 08:31Oh, God. Oh, God.
• 08:34CLATTERING
• 08:36No, no...
• 08:38No.
• 08:40No, that's bad.
• 08:41HE STRAINS
• 08:44Ooh...
• 08:46And...
• 08:48..out it goes.
• 08:51That's it.
• 08:58Just like that.
• 09:00Right. Next load.
• 09:02Just a quick question, Kursty. Yes.
• 09:04Are you going to do it like that every time?
• 09:06I-I shouldn't think so, no. Right.
• 09:08OK.
• 09:10MANDY: Look at this.
• 09:11Whoa.
• 09:12I never leave the house without a pair of these.
• 09:15"Why?" You ask.
• 09:16Well, this is why.
• 09:32That's...
• 09:33..really good. See that?
• 09:35Pure martial arts.
• 09:37Yah! Like that. Yeah.
• 09:39Do a defence, or...
• 09:40..you can do a punching...
• 09:40SHE LAUGHS
• 09:42"Yeah, whatever, all right, mate, yeah..."
• 09:44Yeah. Yah! Like that. Don't worry, I've got me range.
• 09:46Yeah. I've got me range.
• 09:47What am I going to do now? Defence, or punch? I don't know.
• 09:49We don't know, we don't know.
• 09:50It's a punch! Whaa!
• 09:51And I can get quite close to you.
• 09:57Yes.
• 10:01Yeah.
• 10:06I ain't struggling. No.
• 10:08I made a few mistakes, yeah, but it's my first day...
• 10:11See you tomorrow.
• 10:13..and the relentless windups don't help, either -
• 10:16cos Martin and Dan, they had me looking for tartan paint
• 10:18for about 45 minutes today.
• 10:20I should've known, after the tartan paint, that he was having me on,
• 10:24cos I spent another 20 minutes looking for striped paint.
• 10:28It took me half an hour to work out that...it's the same joke.
• 10:45Oh, for fuck's sake!
• 10:48I can't present that tomorrow.
• 10:49Oh... They'll annihilate me. That is sunken as hell.
• 10:54You may as well just stuff your face with it, Ker.
• 10:56Nah, you're all right.
• 10:57Look, if you want the ganache, you'll have to frost it yourself.
• 11:00The mix is in the bowl... Mm.
• 11:01.but I ain't doing it for you, all right? Nah, I'm just not hungry.
• 11:05What?
• 11:07What?
• 11:10What's wrong? Nothing.
• 11:12You're off your food, and that worries me greatly.
• 11:22"Dear Kerry, I often see you around the village.
• 11:26"I have been having intense fantasies about you
• 11:29"that I feel I must share with you.
• 11:32"My dream is that you come over to mine in your Swindon shirt.
• 11:36"You come in to fix my washing machine, and you are all sweaty
• 11:39"cos you have been playing football in the park.
• 11:43"You smell of BO...
• 11:46"..but I don't mind.
• 11:48"You are so strong, your hands are like spanners.
• 11:52"You lift me above your head
• 11:54"and throw me to the other side of the room,
• 11:56"and smash me against the wall.
• 11:59"We arm wrestle, and when you beat me, you tell me how pathetic I am.
• 12:04"I give you my belt to whip me with,
• 12:07"and my trousers fall down,
• 12:10"and you laugh at my genitals."
• 12:14Threatening, innit?
• 12:17Yeah.
• 12:18That's... They want to beat me up, don't they?
• 12:23Yeah...
• 12:25I wouldn't say...
• 12:28It's sort of...
• 12:31They... They want... you to beat them up...
• 12:35..but I don't think they're beating you up.
• 12:38Oh, really?
• 12:41That's all right, then.
• 12:42No. No, because...
• 12:46Because they're getting, like, a...a thing out of it.
• 12:50What? What sort of thing out of it?
• 12:53Like... Well...
• 12:56Like...
• 12:57A sexual thing.
• 13:02This really is not a good situation for me.
• 13:05A physical threat is something that I can deal with,
• 13:08but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.
• 13:21Right, get your cakes out, you pair of fannies. Go.
• 13:24What you got today, Dan?
• 13:26Victoria sponge, mate. Classic. Oh, ho, ho! Lovely.
• 13:37Oh, Dan, that's not bad at all.
• 13:40Especially after your Battenberg disaster. Cheers, Martin.
• 13:45Right, Kurst, what's your offering today?
• 13:48Well...
• 13:49There she is, in all her glory.
• 13:52Lemon drizzle. What's this?
• 13:55Is that shop-bought?
• 13:59Yeah.
• 14:02Sorry.
• 14:03Look, I...
• 14:04I did try and bake one myself, I did,
• 14:06but I just can't do it. I can't bake.
• 14:08Listen.
• 14:10No baker gets it right the first time.
• 14:13That is the beauty of baking.
• 14:15It's trial and error.
• 14:17Do you think Dan could have produced that exquisite Victoria sponge
• 14:21without fucking up his Battenberg?
• 14:23No. No way.
• 14:25I mean, even the great Mr Kipling
• 14:26would admit to fucking up his first couple of Bakewells, right?
• 14:29Yeah, I suppose he would. You need to get some more confidence, Kurst.
• 14:32Yeah. Yeah.
• 14:34Well, do you know what? I think...
• 14:35I think I'll give it a bloody good go next time.
• 14:37I really will, and I can't thank you enough. You know?
• 14:41That's the right attitude. Mm. Yeah?
• 14:43But remember, you've got to do the forfeit. Oh, yeah.
• 14:46Well, what do you mean?
• 14:47Well, you brought in a shop-bought, so you got to do a forfeit, mate.
• 14:50That's the rules. What forfeit?
• 14:52Er...
• 14:54Slap that drink out that woman's hand. Yeah, go on, Kursty,
• 14:58that'll redeem you. No, that's Slugs, I know him.
• 15:00Yeah, but so what?
• 15:02It's just, I...
• 15:03He's had a really hard time of it, he's had cancer.
• 15:05Oh, grow a pair, Kurst.
• 15:07He ain't going to do it, Martin. He's a fanny, ain't he?
• 15:09No, I ain't a fanny. I just...
• 15:11Oh, fuck...
• 15:12All right, Kurtan?
• 15:14All right, Slugs, mate?
• 15:20All right, mate, how's it going?
• 15:23It's not good.
• 15:24Really? What's wrong?
• 15:28Just really low, mate.
• 15:31Why?
• 15:34Just found out Kayleigh's been sending messages
• 15:36to other guys on Facebook.
• 15:38Shit.
• 15:41Wh-What sort of messages?
• 15:44Sexual, mostly.
• 15:46Oh, God.
• 15:48So sorry to hear that, mate.
• 15:50Thanks.
• 15:53She said she doesn't know what she wants. Yeah.
• 15:56I'm going over there now to see if I can work things out. Mm-hm.
• 15:59Well, it will... It will work itself out, mate.
• 16:02It's... It always... Yeah. I hope so.
• 16:05Just really fucked in the head, mate. Yeah.
• 16:09I don't know what to do. Yeah.
• 16:13THEY LAUGH
• 16:15That was good.
• 16:17Oh, nice one, Kurtan. Nice one, mate.
• 16:22It's all right, it's all right. It's all right.
• 16:25Well, Mandy very kindly offered to spend some time at my house
• 16:28for protection and that.
• 16:30She reckons it could be quite serious,
• 16:32and it could be very dangerous.
• 16:34Isn't that right? Yeah.
• 16:37Yeah, the reason I have offered to protect Kerry
• 16:39is cos I used to be in exactly the same situation before,
• 16:44cos I was a stalker for about three or four years, and...
• 16:48It got really bad at one point,
• 16:50cos they were starring in Jack And The Beanstalk
• 16:53at the Everyman Theatre...
• 16:55..I broke into their dressing room and just...
• 16:57..I stole all their shoes and that.
• 17:00Police got involved.
• 17:04I thought you were stalked on.
• 17:06No, I was the stalker.
• 17:08Oh.
• 17:09Yeah, cos the more I loved them, the more they rejected me,
• 17:13the more they rejected me, the more I wanted to kill 'em, see?
• 17:17That's just love, I suppose.
• 17:37Cheers, John.
• 17:44Shut up!
• 17:51Fuckin' hell!
• 17:53Jesus.
• 18:01Fuckin' hell!
• 18:03What did Sandra say? Oh, ho, ho! Did she found out?
• 18:09Oh, fucking hell, really, though?
• 18:14Right.
• 18:24TV: You lied to me, Mick.
• 18:27I couldn't tell you any sooner, because you wasn't here.
• 18:31I asked you. I asked you if you'd told me everything.
• 18:38You kissed her twice, Mick.
• 18:41I know.
• 18:45You not going to go home, do you think?
• 18:47No. No...?
• 18:51I can't... I can't protect you from me house, can I?
• 18:54I'd be all right tonight. I'd be absolutely fine tonight.
• 18:58You say that.
• 18:59You know that night's the most dangerous time, right?
• 19:02Night-time was when I did all my business.
• 19:04Who... Who was it that you did stalk?
• 19:07I could... I'm not allowed to say who it actually is,
• 19:10but I can tell you that it was a member of S Club 7 -
• 19:12but I can't tell you which one. Really?
• 19:15Was it Bradley?
• 19:18Bradley? No.
• 19:19Paul? No.
• 19:23Jon's the other one. No.
• 19:25Tina?
• 19:27No.
• 19:30Jo? No.
• 19:35Rachel Stevens. No.
• 19:38Hannah Spearritt?
• 19:46Yeah, go on, my son. Wahey, there we go. There we go.
• 19:50Fucking shots! No...! Yeah, let's do shots, come on!
• 19:54I don't know, mate.
• 19:55Come on, John. Get the shots out.
• 19:57Dan, you'll have a shot! I don't know, maybe I will, maybe I won't.
• 20:00Come on!
• 20:01Maybe... Do a shot! He's doing it now, isn't he?
• 20:04Come on, you big, bald fanny, do a shot!
• 20:06Come on.
• 20:07I don't mind getting them in. Honestly. You'll do one.
• 20:10Yeah?
• 20:11How about one down the social, yeah? Absolutely, mate, yeah.
• 20:14Let's do it now. Where we going? Social?
• 20:16Cheers, John, mate. Yeah. See you, John.
• 20:18All right, see you... See you tomorrow, lads. Yeah, yeah.
• 20:22Oh... Fuck.
• 20:25Rack 'em up, then, John.
• 20:27Fuckin' hell.
• 20:28Quickly, mate!
• 20:30Yeah.
• 20:31Fuck, what a night, tonight.
• 20:33Pint to pint with Martin Mucklowe.
• 20:45Absolutely battered last night.
• 20:49Can't wait for a debrief with the lads, as well.
• 20:53Cor! Last night was a random one, wasn't it?!
• 20:58Cor.
• 20:59Checked my phone this morning,
• 21:01only text my ex about six times last night!
• 21:03One of... One of them was a video of the crying for about 10 minutes.
• 21:06What a numpty.
• 21:09Can't even remember getting home, either.
• 21:11So, you're not fit for work, then?
• 21:14Well... We were all drinking last night.
• 21:16Ain't we all a bit worse for wear? No.
• 21:19I can metabolise a pint in five minutes. Dan in seven.
• 21:23You, on the other hand, were taking the piss out of me and my site,
• 21:27and I've got two words for you, eh, Dan?
• 21:30See ya. Yeah. See ya.
• 21:32What are you on about?
• 21:33I don't work with clowns, I only work with kings.
• 21:37What, y-you're... You're sacking me?
• 21:40What have I done? I haven't done anything wrong.
• 21:42What have I done wrong? Well...
• 21:47Is this about me calling you a big, bald fanny last night?
• 21:49Cos the atmosphere just totally changed after that.
• 21:51Yeah, well, to be fair, mate,
• 21:52it was bang out of order, wasn't it? Oh, my...
• 21:54I knew it was. That... Do you know how sad that is?
• 21:58That is so, actually, sad, that makes me so sad for you,
• 22:01that you can't take a joke.
• 22:03That was just a joke, and you're sacking me for making a joke.
• 22:06That is... What am I going to do for work?
• 22:08Go to joke school.
• 22:11Well, if I need to go to joke school,
• 22:13you need to go back to shagging school, then, mate.
• 22:15What do you mean? Yeah.
• 22:17I overheard your Sandra in the post office,
• 22:18saying, yeah, you might have a big knob,
• 22:20but you don't know what the bloody hell to do with it.
• 22:22Right, that's it, you get off the site now. I'm going, mate.
• 22:25All the gear, no idea.
• 22:32I will not miss working for Martin Mucklowe.
• 22:34He is a disturbed individual.
• 22:37Did you hear him say he got tossed off by his mother-in-law?
• 22:41She's 86.
• 22:44I'd rather shag Kerry's mum...
• 22:47..and to think, he's done 'em both.
• 23:02Yes!
• 23:03Bakers...
• 23:05KNOCK AT DOOR
• 23:07Someone's here!
• 23:09Whoa!
• 23:11Are you all right?
• 23:12You was lucky. Yeah.
• 23:16Are you all right?
• 23:17Yeah.
• 23:18How was work? Oh...
• 23:20I got sacked. Why?
• 23:23I really can't be arsed explaining about it now.
• 23:25What are you playing?
• 23:26Happy Families.
• 23:29Can I play?
• 23:31Yeah, I've pretty much won this round, anyway.
• 23:38What's the rules, again?
• 23:39Mandy makes up the rules each... I don't make 'em up. No.
• 23:44That's what they are. Yeah.
• 23:47Two goes for the eldest... Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:51Which is Mandy.
• 23:53Two cards - one, one, two.
• 23:56One, one, two.
• 23:58One, one, one, two.
• 24:01One, one, two.
• 24:04One, one, two...
• 24:04LETTERBOX RATTLES
• 24:06Ooh, it's another letter!
• 24:09This is it! Right!
• 24:10MAN SHOUTS
• 24:12Get back, get back.
• 24:13Oh... Here he is. Dan?!
• 24:15How are you doing, mate? What the fuck?!
• 24:17Sit down! I'm not... All right! Christ!
• 24:20I was just coming by to give Kurtan the recipe for my Victoria sponge,
• 24:23because I know how much he likes it.
• 24:25What's this letter, then?
• 24:26That's not... That's just... I mean...
• 24:29"Dear Kerry, today I fantasised
• 24:31"that you were dressed as Miss Trunchbull from Matilda,
• 24:35"and you were trying out some new boxing gloves,
• 24:38"and you didn't have a punchbag,
• 24:40"so I let you try them out on my balls."
• 24:43Fuck's sake!
• 24:45This some sort of wankfest for you, is it?
• 24:48Objectifying some poor girl for your own pleasure?
• 24:51It ain't like that, right?
• 24:52I wank over her as a compliment.
• 24:54Right? I don't mean nothing by it.
• 24:56Oh, it's a compliment, is it?
• 24:57Kerry, how does it feel to have some dirty pervert wanking over you?
• 25:04Er...
• 25:10Well...
• 25:11Like, the strength stuff's all right.
• 25:13I think that's quite good.
• 25:14It's just the other stuff,
• 25:16I really, really, really, really don't like it.
• 25:19All right, well, you know, I can respect that, and...
• 25:22I think I just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.
• 25:24I wouldn't do it if I knew you didn't like it, you know?
• 25:26Yeah. Cos, I mean, like the stuff about me being strong and that,
• 25:30I don't mind...
• 25:32That's the bit I don't mind.
• 25:34No... So, that's quite good. Yeah, it's all right.
• 25:38There's no harm in it, is there? Strength stuff. No.
• 25:40Can I just say one thing? Yeah.
• 25:42I didn't mind the strength stuff. You didn't mind it? No.
• 25:45Well... Yeah, I... I'm with you on that. Yeah, me, too.
• 25:48All right, then. Well...
• 25:50What if I was to write another letter, right? Mm. Right.
• 25:52Bear with me.
• 25:54Kerry's working in the garage, right?
• 25:56Strongest girl in the whole garage, right?
• 25:58She doesn't even need a jack to lift the car up,
• 26:00she does everything by her hands.
• 26:02That is strong. Proper strong. Right?
• 26:04One day, Land Rover comes in, massive, right? Really heavy -
• 26:07and you end up actually lifting it so high,
• 26:09you lift the whole thing above your head, you're that strong.
• 26:12How's that?
• 26:13That... That's the end of the story?
• 26:16Well, then, yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's great.
• 26:19I think that's good, that's fine. That's really good, that.
• 26:22Yeah. It's good... It's a good story about strength... Yeah.
• 26:25..and there is nothing sexual,
• 26:27and I'm happy with that, if you are. I'm happy, yeah. Now I know -
• 26:29cos I wouldn't write anything sexual about you.
• 26:31Jesus, I don't want you coming round, beating me up.
• 26:33Yeah, we would beat you up. We'd beat you up.
• 26:35Well, mainly Mandy, I know you're not really...
• 26:37No, I would beat you up, as well.
• 26:39You're not really a fighter, are you?
• 26:41I am a fighter. That's what I live for.
• 26:42What, you've been in fights? Yeah, I've been in fights.
• 26:45I was in a fight with Darren Macy at the bus...bus shelter.
• 26:48I grabbed him by the hood and just smashed his face into a wall.
• 26:51So, if you ever send me a letter again, yeah,
• 26:53I will absolutely batter you, mate.
• 26:56Oh, Ker, Ker, Ker... What?!
• 26:59You've given him a stonk on. Oh, my God. Oh, Christ. Well...
• 27:03All right, let's get out of here.
• 27:04All right! Come on, you. Christ, I'm going.
• 27:06All right! Get out, you dirty, dirty, dirty, disgusting bastard.
• 27:10All right, Christ!
• 27:17Well, that was fucking weird.
• 27:19Yeah.
• 27:21Are you all right?
• 27:23I think so.
• 27:26Do you want to play Happy Families?
• 27:28Yeah. Yeah?
• 27:39I'm so relieved all that is just finished with. Yeah.
• 27:44It's not even him, it was her.
• 27:46Oh? I just thought she'd never, ever leave.