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This Country S03E04 — Kurtan's Half-Brother
Every line from “Kurtan's Half-Brother” (467 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.
- 00:02This programme contains some strong language
- 00:15Suit, ex window display, Moss Bros, £30.
- 00:19Shirt, Burton's sale, £8.
- 00:23Tie, Moss Bros, rental, £1 today, £1.
- 00:28Shoes, Cats Protection League, £2.
- 00:32Looking a million dollars at a funeral, absolutely pricele...
- 00:35I think it's appalling what you lot have done to this village!
- 00:39You should be ashamed of yourselves!
- 00:41Turned this place into a bloody circus,
- 00:43clogging the roads up with your vans!
- 00:46Filming unsociable hours! I did say you can't park there, Graeme.
- 00:50Did I not? I did say it.
- 00:51Weren't like this when that Father Brown lot were here!
- 00:55No, they were good as gold!
- 00:57And that Mark Williams, taking time out to pose for photos with anybody!
- 01:03Don't get nothing but grief from you lot. Nan! What are you...?
- 01:06Get inside! It's disgraceful! Get inside now!
- 01:10Somebody's got to say it to them. Somebody's got to say it.
- 01:12Your bath bomb's going to dissolve to nothing
- 01:14if you don't hurry up and get in that bath,
- 01:16for crying out loud.
- 01:19You won't be able to use that, you know that, don't you?
- 01:22Cos she doesn't want to be seen in a documentary.
- 01:26She says it's TV for nitwits.
- 01:41Uh, so Kurtan's brother snuffed it. Half brother.
- 01:45Yeah, he died, unfortunately.
- 01:47Uh, but to be honest, I didn't really know him.
- 01:51We weren't close or anything. Yeah, it's a bit complicated, so...
- 01:55Me and Ray had the same dad, Marshall Mucklowe.
- 01:58He died when I was young.
- 02:00Uh, but he had Ray when he was 20,
- 02:03and then had me when he was in his 50s.
- 02:07Kurtan's dad was so old. He was the same age as Tina Turner.
- 02:13Yeah, but he couldn't move like Tina Turner.
- 02:16Well, no, he had polio.
- 02:19Try dancing when your knees are back to front.
- 02:21Agony.
- 02:25Well, it's always sad when someone passes away.
- 02:28I never knew Ray, but he was a hard-working chap by all accounts.
- 02:33And I'm sure the Mucklowes will give him the send-off he deserves.
- 02:37They're a real, um, sturdy bunch.
- 02:43Yeah, it's really sad,
- 02:45but everything happens for a reason, I suppose. Yeah.
- 02:50What reason is that?
- 02:52Well, it's just the wake's at the Keepers.
- 02:57Well, what's that got to do with anything?
- 03:00Well, it's just weird because John the landlord's recently installed
- 03:04a power punching machine.
- 03:07So you're saying the reason for Ray's death is
- 03:09so you can have a punch with a new power punch machine at the Keepers?
- 03:15Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
- 03:19Vicar!
- 03:21Doesn't the Lord work in mysterious ways? I'm sorry?
- 03:26The Lord works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? Uh, yes. Yes, he does.
- 03:32See?
- 03:34HE EXHALES
- 03:38OVERLAPPING CONVERSATION
- 03:43BANG, MACHINE BEEPS
- 03:43ALL: Ooh!
- 03:50GLASS CLINKS
- 03:50Thank you. Thank you.
- 03:57Um, I'd just like to, uh, quickly say a few words
- 04:00about my colleague Ray.
- 04:04Uh, we worked together at Mitsubishi
- 04:07until Ray retired this year after 42 years of excellent service.
- 04:15Uh, he...he was known as someone who, uh, very much
- 04:19kept himself to himself.
- 04:21But, um, if you remember Ray like, like I remember Ray,
- 04:26than you'll remember Ray likes wearing his overalls
- 04:30and eating his lunch at his work space.
- 04:36Ray lived and breathed working at Mitsubishi,
- 04:40and, uh, he was often heard on the factory floor saying, uh,
- 04:46something about...
- 04:46PLATE SCRAPES
- 04:48saying something about, uh, power,
- 04:52uh, pumps, uh, and, uh, suspension arms, and what have you
- 04:59because that, that was his specific area.
- 05:03B-but over the years when we did happen to cross paths,
- 05:07which...was sadly not as much as I would have liked, he'd...
- 05:11He'd always say things like, uh, "Morning."
- 05:15And, "See you tomorrow."
- 05:19Bar Fridays, when he would say, "See you on Monday."
- 05:31To Ray, ladies and gentlemen, to Ray. ALL: To Ray.
- 05:36BANG BEEPING
- 05:39CHEERING LAUGHTER
- 05:48Can't believe that...
- 05:50What was that speech all about?
- 05:53You know what? I don't think Clive knew Ray at all.
- 05:57Cos when I, when I asked Clive what sort of person Ray was,
- 05:59he was like, "Oh, he was sweet,
- 06:02"he was mellow, a bit nutty." HE SCOFFS
- 06:04And I looked at the blackboard where Clive was looking,
- 06:07and he was just reading out a description of a guest ale!
- 06:11A guest ale, Ker!
- 06:13Huh? Were you talking to me? Yeah.
- 06:18What did you say?
- 06:22You need to get your head out of them books.
- 06:26Just reading your life away.
- 06:26HE SIGHS
- 06:37"And being of flame and air, she shivered in his embrace.
- 06:40"Then, eyes still shut, put up her lips.
- 06:44"There was nothing cool about the kiss..."
- 06:46VOICEOVER: Yeah! I really got into my books of late.
- 06:49And the vicar suggested I go to a book club that he runs.
- 06:53And reading this, I genuinely felt like I was reading a diary.
- 07:01Uh, of a vampire. Yes.
- 07:04VOICEOVER: It's absolutely wonderful having Kerry in the book club.
- 07:07Um, she's, I think, getting so much out of it.
- 07:10I was clearing out Jacob's room and I found a box of all his old
- 07:14Goosebumps books, so I gave them to Kerry, and she has devoured them.
- 07:21I've got The Blob That Ate Everyone, Say Cheese And Die,
- 07:26uh, A Shocker On Shock Street, that's really shocking.
- 07:30The book club used to be run by a lady called Margaret, and,
- 07:34as can happen with these things, it had become a bit of a closed shop.
- 07:38But Margaret's moved on, and I'm running it now,
- 07:40and I'm keen the group should be open to everyone,
- 07:43particularly those who might not be the most advanced readers,
- 07:46or might lack a bit of confidence.
- 07:49And it's amazing to see people come out of their shell.
- 07:51Next time it is Colin's suggestion, and it's an all-time classic,
- 07:55The Jungle Book.
- 07:56Colin, would you quickly like to say why you chose this one?
- 08:02No?
- 08:02HE STAMMERS
- 08:06OK, never mind. Um, well, have fun reading, everyone.
- 08:11Lovely.
- 08:22So how are you doing, then, Kurtan? That wake was an absolute joke.
- 08:27Aw, I thought it was a lovely day.
- 08:31I thought you gave Ray a proper send-off
- 08:33that he would have been proud of.
- 08:35Really? It was like an advert for Mitsubishi.
- 08:38Is there really nothing else anyone can say about him
- 08:40other than the fact that he worked at fucking Mitsubishi?
- 08:42Kurtan, language. Sorry, but come on.
- 08:44Everyone was more interested in that power punch machine
- 08:47than they were paying their respects.
- 08:49I went round with the condolences book for people to sign,
- 08:51and Martin signed it, "RIP Roy."
- 08:54And he was Ray's uncle for crying out loud. Roy!
- 08:58How can someone's life be so meaningless?
- 09:01No-one's life is meaningless, Kurtan. That's what it feels like.
- 09:05Cos if that was my funeral, I'd be absolutely raging.
- 09:09Now, he'll just be forgotten about. Like Flat Eric. Who's Flat Eric?
- 09:14Exactly.
- 09:15Look, Ray will not be forgotten
- 09:18because he'll live on in the memories that you have of him.
- 09:21I have no memories of him. I barely knew the man.
- 09:24Well, this is a good chance for you to find out about him, then!
- 09:28I'm sure the rest of the family have some great stories about Ray.
- 09:32He was probably a lot more interesting
- 09:34than you give him credit for.
- 09:36Do you think? Mm! Yeah, maybe.
- 09:47I made up my own McDonald's burger... Yeah?
- 09:50..by combining two burgers.
- 09:53Yeah. It's called Air, Land and Sea, so it's a fillet of fish... Yeah.
- 09:57..burger with, um, a chicken burger.
- 10:02Yeah. Oi! McChicken sandwich.
- 10:04I heard about your half brother. Oh, yeah. Yeah, cheers, Mand.
- 10:08Eh, you think that's bad. My whole brother died once! Oh. Aw. Wow.
- 10:13S-sorry to hear that, Mand. Why are you sorry?
- 10:18I... Sorry that he died. Oh, did you know Kevin?
- 10:22Did you know Kevin? N-no. No. Why are you sorry, then?
- 10:28Well, I'm sorry for you. Oh, why? I hated him.
- 10:34I'm glad he's dead, all the wicked things he's done.
- 10:37He's burning in hell, I'm smiling my head off. Oh.
- 10:42Uh, that's good, then. Yeah. Why's that good?
- 10:46He's still my little brother I used to read stories to at night.
- 10:50Aw. Yeah. Course. OK. Uh, see you in a bit, Mand. See ya, see ya.
- 10:56Hairy MacLairy from Donaldson's Dairy. Yep. Mm-hm.
- 11:00Blitzen Maloney, all skinny and boney. Yeah. Yeah.
- 11:03Muffin McLay, bundle of hay. Yeah.
- 11:07Bottomly Potts, all covered in spots. Right. Yeah.
- 11:11Hercules Morse, big as a horse. Mm.
- 11:15And Hairy MacLairy, Donaldson's Dairy. Yeah. Yeah.
- 11:18You know, we were discussing that book at book club the other day.
- 11:21Where? See ya. Uh, at book club.
- 11:23At the village hall with the vicar. But, yeah.
- 11:27SHE BREATHES HEAVILY
- 11:31Bye, then! Oh, bye! B... Sorry, bye.
- 11:35SHE BREATHES HEAVILY
- 11:43Think my fight or flight's kicked in. Oh, really? Yeah.
- 11:51Look at that. Come on, let's just get home.
- 11:58I think I've got it working. Yeah? Great.
- 12:03I've got the tapes here, look.
- 12:04If it's going to be anywhere, it's going to be in there.
- 12:08Well, yeah, I've been thinking a lot about what the vicar said.
- 12:11And he's right, I just need to get to know Ray better.
- 12:15Which is obviously hard with him being dead now,
- 12:18but Kerry remembered that her mum's got
- 12:20a video of Ray's 40th birthday party,
- 12:23which was also the millennium.
- 12:25So yeah. Proper excited about seeing what Ray was really like!
- 12:31Ah, that takes me back, doing that.
- 12:38VIDEO: Mart!
- 12:40Yeah, what? I can't bloody work this thing!
- 12:43I don't know if it's recording or not.
- 12:45I'm going to need my deposit from Radio Rentals.
- 12:47Give it here. Look, I can't...
- 12:48Martin. No, no, no, no. Just press that. I do!
- 12:51There's play, there. Just press that! Oh, I see.
- 12:55Oh, little Monica and Chandler are in there! Aw.
- 12:58You looking forward to the millennium, little fellers?
- 13:07Millennium party, a party is a party.
- 13:11Look how old everything is. Yeah. 2000!
- 13:15You over there, Trish? Trish?!
- 13:19Ooh, there it goes. Lovely, lovely.
- 13:23And everybody's over here! Rick!
- 13:26THEY LAUGH
- 13:29Ooh, oh, yeah! Where's Ray?
- 13:32OVERLAPPING SPEECH
- 13:32Martin! My dad! His hair!
- 13:37PHONE RINGS IN VIDEO
- 13:38Him and that ringtone, I'm telling you, Stuart!
- 13:41Oh, for goodness' sake. Stuart didn't change, did he? Nope. Kerry!
- 13:47THEY GASP
- 13:47That's us!
- 13:48Do you want chicken and crispies?
- 13:52Kerry! We loved that game!
- 13:54Yeah. You can't get through to them
- 13:56when that Crash Bandicoot's on the TV.
- 14:00I can't get over dad's hair.
- 14:04PHONE RINGS IN VIDEO
- 14:06And where's Ray, though?
- 14:07Put it down! ALL: Da-da-da-da-da!
- 14:11You all right, Ray?
- 14:11THEY GASP
- 14:14There he is. You having a good birthday, Ray? There he is.
- 14:18PHONE RINGS LAUGHTER
- 14:20Give me the remote.
- 14:23Rewind it.
- 14:27You having a good birthday, Ray?
- 14:33There he is, look. That is haunting.
- 14:37Yeah.
- 14:40His own 40th birthday party, on his own.
- 14:44A ghost at his own feast.
- 14:48They were right about him always wearing his overalls, though.
- 14:53Yeah.
- 15:01So welcome to book club, everyone.
- 15:03And a very warm welcome to a new face, Mandy Harris.
- 15:07So lovely to have new members. Welcome, Mandy.
- 15:10Um, so, The Jungle Book. How did everyone get on with it?
- 15:14Yes, Kayleigh?
- 15:16I think identity plays a big part in this world,
- 15:20and the nature-nurture debate.
- 15:23Cos I think Mowgli struggles with his sense of belonging
- 15:26in the two worlds.
- 15:28No.
- 15:32Uh... Uh, sorry, Kayleigh, carry on.
- 15:37Carry on. And I...
- 15:41I think we see this when he gets frustrated that he can't do
- 15:45the things all the animals can do.
- 15:48Hm. Like smelling. That's wrong.
- 15:52Yes, it's great to have new members.
- 15:54It's important that the club is inclusive of everyone,
- 15:57no matter how experienced a reader you are.
- 15:59And each new member brings a unique and different perspective,
- 16:04which is always welcomed and creates good, healthy debate.
- 16:08I don't know about the rest of you,
- 16:10I think I would love to be friends with Baloo.
- 16:12He's that big brother you always wanted, isn't he?
- 16:15He's not the big brother I wanted. Well... He's an idiot.
- 16:18Um, next time we'll be reading something a little spookier.
- 16:23Kerry, maybe you'd like to explain your choice.
- 16:25Uh, this is Goosebumps,
- 16:27don't know if you're familiar with the Goosebumps books.
- 16:30And this is called Piano Lessons Can Be Murder.
- 16:34And let's just say, after you read this,
- 16:37you won't be taking piano lessons f-, any time soon.
- 16:40Why?
- 16:44Uh, well, I don't... Uh, you'll f-find out when you read it.
- 16:48Uh, no way. You can tell me anyway, cos I probably won't read it anyway.
- 16:55Well, you might read it. No, I ain't going to read it.
- 16:58OK, uh...
- 17:01It's basically about a boy called Jerry who takes piano lessons
- 17:06and finds out his piano teacher is a robot.
- 17:09And then what happens?
- 17:13He, uh, murders people, just chops off everyone's hands.
- 17:17That's the end.
- 17:20Probably would have read that, that's right,
- 17:22if you hadn't ruined the ending. Well done.
- 17:28Right.
- 17:46So how did you think book club went? Um... Well, uh...
- 17:53I think I know why you're asking that question.
- 17:57Oh, wh-why would that be, do you think?
- 17:59Mandy... Yeah. Has...
- 18:01Was like an atomic bomb, blasting book club
- 18:05and all the books in it within a 40,000 mile radius.
- 18:10Kerry, I-I just think she was getting the hang of it.
- 18:12You think she's getting the hang of it? She misunderstood ground rules.
- 18:15Oh, right, just totally dominating the whole thing. Yes.
- 18:17Being rude to Kayleigh. I had to look after Kayleigh.
- 18:20Kayleigh was in tears afterwards. Was she?
- 18:22So just...thought I'd let you know we both, um, are now
- 18:26non-members of book club. No, wait a second, Kerry.
- 18:29No, we're walking out. Kerry. It's either her or us.
- 18:31Kerry, it doesn't need to be like that.
- 18:33I'm going to talk to Mandy, all right?
- 18:35What are you going to say to her? You've got to give me a chance.
- 18:37You need to say... I'll do what you have to say.
- 18:39"Mandy, this behaviour is mental. Yeah?
- 18:43"You have to not come to book club any more. In fact, you're banned."
- 18:46No, Kerry...
- 18:47"You need to seek mental health and not come to book club." Kerry.
- 18:51That's what you need to say! Hold on one second, please. Can I speak?
- 18:55Book club is for everyone. Yeah, who's not...nuts.
- 18:59And that's the way it's going to remain.
- 19:01Please let me deal with this. OK. I trust you.
- 19:03And please just trust me to talk to her. I trust you. Thank you.
- 19:06Thank you for your patience. I appreciate it.
- 19:10Cos I have been patient. Yeah, you have.
- 19:13OK, bye. Bye!
- 19:18Well, look, there are always tensions in any group dynamic.
- 19:23But book club is for everyone,
- 19:25and that is not something I'm prepared to compromise on.
- 19:29I'm sure with time and support,
- 19:31Mandy will blossom into a very valued contributor.
- 19:38BANGING
- 19:52Can you just stop doing that, please?
- 19:54HE SIGHS
- 19:57You all right?
- 20:00No, not really.
- 20:00HE SNIFFLES
- 20:03Why?
- 20:07Just...
- 20:09I just wish I had a-an anecdote or a story about Ray,
- 20:15so I know that, you know,
- 20:17at least he made some sort of mark on the world...
- 20:21..before he died. Well, I could always ask Mum.
- 20:25No, don't bother, I'm not in the mood for her.
- 20:27Well, she must have some memories of Ray. Yeah, but just...
- 20:31Well, I can just ask her now. No.
- 20:35D... Mum! Ker.
- 20:37Do you remember Ray? Ray!
- 20:44No!
- 20:47Ray Mucklowe, Kurtan's half brother.
- 20:54HE SCOFFS
- 20:54Mum, he's dead.
- 21:02Mum, Kurtan's down here.
- 21:09All right, Mum.
- 21:13OK, enough.
- 21:17Enough, please.
- 21:24Sorry. I did say, didn't I? Just don't get her involved.
- 21:40OK, so, Piano Lessons Can Be Murder.
- 21:43Well, I have to say, Kerry, I was very pleasantly surprised
- 21:46by this book, so thank you very much for your suggestion.
- 21:49It was a real page-turner. I don't know what you thought... Uh, vicar?
- 21:53If it's all right, I wondered if, um,
- 21:55because I've been so very, very inspired
- 21:58by everybody reading books,
- 22:01if I read out a story that I've written?
- 22:05Uh, oh.
- 22:07Well, that's wonderful, um...
- 22:10Murder In The Cupboard, by Mandy Harris. OK.
- 22:14SHE CLEARS THROAT
- 22:15"Little girl called Sarah was asleep.
- 22:18"'Bark.' said Sarah's dog. 'Shut it.' said Sarah.
- 22:22"'Bark, bark, bark.' said the dog. 'Shut your mouth,
- 22:25"'I'm trying to get 40 winks here.' said Sarah.
- 22:27"'Bark.' said the dog.
- 22:29"'If you bark one more time, I'm kicking you so hard up the arse.'
- 22:32"'Bark.' the dog replied.
- 22:34"Sarah booted the dog so far up the arse,
- 22:36"his head smashed into the cupboard.
- 22:38"Door swung open to reveal a murderer
- 22:40"what had been hiding in the cupboard this whole time.
- 22:43"'Oh, fuck.' said Sarah.
- 22:44"'I didn't realise you was barking at a murderer in the cupboard.
- 22:47"'I thought you was winding me up, cos that's what you usually do.'
- 22:51"The dog didn't reply cos it was massively concussed.
- 22:56"Sarah looked at the cupboard, it wasn't a murderer after all,
- 23:00"it was just a suit jacket that looked like a murderer in the dark.
- 23:03"'So you was winding me up after all, then?' said Sarah.
- 23:08"The very next day, Sarah took the dog to the Dogs Trust,
- 23:11"and they couldn't rehome him, so they sadly put him down.
- 23:14"The end."
- 23:16Yes, it's very important that the book club
- 23:19remains as open as possible.
- 23:22Uh, at the same time, sometimes one has to
- 23:25think about the happiness of the group rather than the individual.
- 23:30Was any of you surprised
- 23:32when the murderer in the cupboard turned out to be a suit jacket?
- 23:35Cos I was, and I was the one that wrote it.
- 23:38Especially when the individual concerned is...
- 23:42..somewhat of an acquired taste.
- 23:50Auntie Sheila sent me Ray's diary. And it's just...
- 23:54"Monday, Mitsubishi. Tuesday, Mitsubishi. Wednesday, Mitsubishi.
- 24:00"Thursday, Mitsubishi."
- 24:03I... I give up.
- 24:05I mean, the man's life was just Mitsubishi,
- 24:08and I've just got to accept it.
- 24:10I just realised I've wasted a lot of time
- 24:12trying to pin a personality on Ray that I don't think ever existed.
- 24:17The man just loved Mitsubishi, and that's that.
- 24:19"Tuesday, Mitsubishi.
- 24:22"Kitchen hygiene review." Fuck me, what's the point?
- 24:26Yeah, so I rang up Mitsubishi, and asked them
- 24:29if they'd name their next car after Ray.
- 24:32Which they said was absolutely out of the question,
- 24:35but they did say they'd fund a memorial bench in his name,
- 24:38which is nice.
- 24:40And, uh, Clive said he'd come down and do an unveiling ceremony.
- 24:43Um, it's just a little bit annoying.
- 24:53FRANCIS SIGHS
- 24:53Lovely.
- 24:57Yeah, but will people get that he's dead, though?
- 25:00And it's not just a retirement bench?
- 25:03Mm, yeah, I-I think so.
- 25:07To me, that looks like a retirement bench.
- 25:13Well, it's certainly a lovely view of the cricket pitch.
- 25:18That, I agree with you.
- 25:21Yeah.
- 25:23Oh, look. I don't believe it. What?
- 25:25Look, it's a Mitsubishi pulling in.
- 25:27How poignant. Ah! No, that's a Honda Civic Type R.
- 25:31I can see why you think it's a Mitsubishi,
- 25:33though, it looks a lot like the Evo.
- 25:35But it's not. Well, he's making a meal of parking that, isn't he?
- 25:40I think he's just trying to turn around. Yeah, it's funny, if you...
- 25:44If you put the marketplace in the sat nav,
- 25:47it always brings you here for some reason. Really? Yeah.
- 25:50Either of you on Waze? Uh, no, I tend to use Google Maps. Oh.
- 25:56Well, I would download Waze. Oh, what's the difference?
- 25:59Um, well, Waze is more, sort of, community based,
- 26:02and Google Maps is more data based.
- 26:05Yeah, Waze is better with, uh, traffic alerts and whatnot.
- 26:09Well, Google, it's... I don't know. It's more, kind of, I don't know.
- 26:14It's not... It's not so, um...
- 26:15Rest in peace, Ray.
- 26:18Yeah, sorry.
- 26:21Yes, rest in peace, Ray. Yeah.
- 26:31So does Waze alert you to, like, speed cameras and that?
- 26:36Well, what happens is that other people alert you,
- 26:39so it's like you're... It's like a sort of social networking group.
- 26:42Right. So what happens is you... How clever. Yeah, yeah.
- 26:44It's great. It's really good.
- 26:45So you'll get alerted about all sorts of things, you know,
- 26:48and it re-routes you.
- 26:54He's more of a Google Maps man, then.
- 26:58I think he's a bit overwrought. It's understandable. Yeah.
- 27:02Well, yeah, give it a year, I think, and everyone will be using Waze.
- 27:05Oh, do you think? Yeah, yeah. I think so, yeah.
- 27:18Oh, hello, Mandy? It's, uh, Francis Seaton, here.
- 27:21Hello, how are you?
- 27:23Uh, obviously my intention was for book club to be a broad church,
- 27:28but...some people just work better on their own than in a group.
- 27:32But that's fine.
- 27:33Uh, the world would be a bit boring if we were all team players.
- 27:36Look, the last thing I want to do is to up-upset you...
- 27:40VOICEOVER: So Mandy and I had a really good,
- 27:44robust, honest conversation, and we decided that the best way forward
- 27:49would be to have a special book club.
- 27:52So which one do you want to hear first?
- 27:54I've got Murder On The Dodgems.
- 27:56The sessions will be one-on-one, twice a week,
- 28:00and it can be a sort of open forum for her creative writing.
- 28:05Which I'm really delighted about.
- 28:08"Harold had smashed it into Tom's head, on his dodgem,
- 28:13"which serves Harold right for shagging Tom's wife
- 28:15"while Harold was away doing catering for the RAF.
- 28:19"Tom was absolutely furious and got out
- 28:21"and started banging the shit out of Harold's dodgem with his mallet.
- 28:25"But that only made Harold angrier.
- 28:28"Harold drove his dodgem straight at Tom and took his legs clean off,
- 28:32"and then reversed over his arms, and crushed them into bits too.
- 28:36"So Tom was just like a fat sack of potatoes with no arms or legs,
- 28:41"just a head and a pair of bollocks hanging off the bottom.
- 28:44"The end."